Expectations don’t hurt
We often hear that expectations hurt. Even after trying hard and counselling ourselves about not harbouring any, in some or the other way, we end up expecting from the people around us. There is nothing unusual about expecting, in fact, expectations mirror our inner desires and feelings towards a relationship or a person. Expectations are just like any other human feelings that arise from the attachments that we hold for someone, from an emotionally perspective. Expectations can both originate or expressed verbally or non-verbally. Sometimes, unspoken expectations harm far more than we can imagine to those who harnesses them inside without giving them an expression. In the guise of emotional bond or attachment, we harness a number of verbal and non-verbal desires from the other end, which we don’t have any control over. Having expectations is definitely not a crime but to force the emotional baggage of our whims and fancies on someone, every time, is a matter of deep concern.
Life sans expectations?
On a practical note, it is hard to imagine a healthy bond without a bit of expectations at the both the ends. Through an emotional spectacle, a relation has a giver and a receiver. There can be hordes of expectations at one end, while the person at the other end might just be working to fulfil those. Expectations which are uncommunicated are the actual culprits behind this statement – Expectations Hurt. The one who bears these unspoken desires, pay less heed to verbalising their inner desires. Such feelings build over the period of time, leading to a pile up of negative emotions, resulting in regular frictions in our relationships. So, the solution be living without expecting much in return? Definitely not. In fact, expectations creates opportunity of a healthy environment of communication & transparency between two or more individuals. It is very much human to have expectations.
Managing Expectations
As we have mentioned, expectations are just another human expression of attachment and bonding, so the catch here is to manage them, with tact. Setting realistic desires and being real with expectations is the key to be happy while keeping your relations healthy and chirpy. Expectations start hurting us, when we get obsessed with their fulfilment and align our existence around these trivial wants. Obsession to see our desires turn into reality, start driving our thoughts and eventually, our life. Thus, managing our thoughts plays a crucial role in managing expectations. Rather than being driven by obsessive emotions, we must sit back for a while and contemplate on the validity of our desires. Understanding the other side, too, is a significant step in harbouring realistic expectations and containing the hurt attached. To help ourselves in overcoming the blockage that we face while expecting from others, developing a sense to understand the standpoint of others, whether – family, friends, partner or colleagues will help us drastically. Reminding ourselves that – It is not always about us, especially when expectations are from people we love and care, can change the ball game completely. On the other hand, this is vital to know that if our expectations aren’t met then that should not be the end of the world for us. We will get plenty of chances in future to fulfil every smallest desire of ours. There are many countable alternatives apart from finding peace by just fulfilling those trivial desires. Turn the tables and start helping others and provide what they are looking forward to.
End Note: Habitually, we do not calculate this much. However, by carefully analysing and following a managed approach towards having realistic expectations, may change a lot for people around us. Cultivating an environment that promotes mutual communication and transparency should be an ultimate goal.
Picture credit: mikecameron.ca
